My name is Adrian.
Adrian Harrison Durosinmi.
It’s quite funny my initials are “A.D.H.D”, because I’m struggling with ADHD. It is the acronym for a medical condition known as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
Ever heard of it?
It means I can’t concentrate on one activity or anything for long. It’s not like I choose to but my brain won’t allow it. My mind is basically like a circus with a hundred characters: clowns, tigers, monkeys, elephant etc, and I’m trying to focus on all at the same time. I tell someone something this minute and the next minute I go blank.
I also find it quite Ironic that my surname, Durosinmi means “wait to rest”, because I never seem to wait neither can I rest.
Hyperactivity. It is one of the symptoms.
You probably know some hyperactive fellows but I assure you, they are nowhere near my level of hyperactiveness. I am always fidgety, impulsive and restless.
Once, when I was ten, I carried my six-year-old little sister for a shoulder ride. I jumped and wiggled around for about two hours, I had totally lost track of time. And maybe forgot there was a human on my shoulders. My mother’s scream had brought me back to reality. Apparently, my little sister had fainted out of fatigue and her neck was already twisting in the wrong direction
But it’s really not my fault. It is the ADHD.
Have I mentioned school? It’s my worst place on earth. I think I’d rather go to prison than be in school. But of course my parents will never allow that.
Nobody understands me.
Nobody knows I’m battling with a condition. They think I’m just being- as Mr. Adeshina, My Class teacher had said- “Tactless and stupid”
I’ve always known I’m different. Not because I can’t seem to understand figures and how they work neither is it because, learning generally is hard for me but because I always seem to live in my own wonderland
Maybe I should be called “Adrian in wonderland”
The day I found out about ADHD, Mr. Adeshina had sent me to the principal’s office to report myself for being distracted in class. As usual, I got distracted on the way and picked up a worn out magazine I saw, slightly hidden under some rubbish.
The cover read: ADHD & LEARNING DEFECT
That was the first time, in a long time I could remember being so concentrated for almost 10 minutes. Record- breaking actually. After weeks and weeks of sporadic research, it dawned on me that I had a mental disorder and I learned my condition was fast degenerating because I wasn’t on any medication or therapy
I have been researching on how I can help myself since then but it’s really difficult.
My world is failing.
I am slowly drowning in an abyss of depression
I wish I can just switch off the light in my brain that makes me go “COCO”.
This is not a letter but……
Written by Favour Ikharo, Bayero University Kano, Kano State, NIGERIA