God created the whole world and made it beautiful. I thought and thought, and suddenly I had an idea of where to start from, that is imagining the world from its physical and psychological point of view. Many things seem attractive but deceptive, not all that glitters is gold. Many a time I feel lonely, especially when I am less busy or when I hear my friends talking about what they received or sent to their friends. It might be text, voice notes, gifts, or something else. Sometimes, it sounds romantic, hilarious, ridiculous, and even tragic.
An introvert I stand, however, I believe if someone is really serious about love, parents are to be informed. Omniscience is of course impossible for us. One day something happened, it was a little incident but it gave me a better glimpse than I had before. A girl said to my roommate, she could not bear to leave him and wanted to be with him forever. The guy told her to leave him alone, and never to call him again. A few minutes later, the girl sent a voice note crying and asking him why he would do such things to her and begging him not to end the relationship.
At that moment I knew he was experienced when it comes to dating and had many girls, though I didn’t really know the kind of game he was playing at that time. After asking him some questions about the girl, I told him to reply to her messages, apologize and reconcile, but rather he smiled rudely and did the opposite of what I told him.
Honestly speaking, I thought she was trying her best to keep alive the relationship between them, but the reality is that he is the one to be reprimanded. You can’t just be calling someone that doesn’t care to call or message you back. It is excruciating. There is barely enough one person can do in keeping a relationship alive, at least both sides should care about each other for it to strive.
A friend once told me that a guy met her and asked for her number after which he said he would give her a call. Two days later, the guy actually kept his word and called her several times but she intentionally refused to pick or call back. I asked why, and she told me that the guy was too small for her, I mean not in her class. I smiled curiously and then began to speculate over the stories above, I guessed those two points of view were in conflict.
I said in my mind, the first guy, I mean my roommate was rejecting a girl while this one is rejecting a guy. From there, I discovered that I knew nothing about love. Personal experience is indeed a valuable source of knowledge.
Most of my friends are nice, one day I was sitting alone in my room, as usual, hearing the ticking of the clock, then I decided to come up with something, that is asking questions and telling friends how I feel. I sent these words to my friend (a girl, Rabi’at)
“I actually consider being in a relationship with someone that you are not going to marry as a waste of time, energy, and sometimes self-deceit.
It is like I have two souls in my body, the 1st one is telling me to learn how to talk to the opposite gender or to engage in a relationship with the opposite gender, while the other one is telling me that this is not the right time to approach a girl.
Sometimes I begin to ponder on which soul to follow, is it the one that supports a relationship or the one that is against it. The most important thing is to study the opposite gender you are interested in before approaching. But I even find it difficult to look at the face of the opposite gender. Though I had seen someone and I was so captivated by her beauty but never did I try to approach her.
You as my friend, I’m seeking your advice on how and when to approach the person that I’m interested in. Is it the right time to start a relationship?”
Then I sent this to a guy (Eric) “I feel lonely, I think I need a girlfriend.”
Both feedbacks were fascinating, educative, and impressive, saying things in common such as; If you really want to go into a relationship, ask yourself are you ready to do what it takes to have and sustain it? There is a girlfriend (romantic) and a Close friend (platonic).
But Eric said something unique which I contemplated over and summarized below.
If you are lonely play games, read books, call your friends, talk with family and friends. It’s possible to still be in a relationship and feel lonely. So, a girlfriend should not be a substitute to drive away your loneliness because you won’t value her except when you are lonely.
Though I’m still implementing what he told me, do you think his words deserve to be implemented?
Writer: Muhammad Mahdi Haliru
Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti, Nigeria.